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Aku mimpi Supervisor aku minta hantar fyp chapter 4

Dia buat google meet lepastu dia tanya

"Semua dah siap ke? Nanti saya nak ok. Minta tolong hantar"

Sambil senyuman manis dan kaki silang.

Seram,

Amarilah kita mula buat

 T.T

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Fu*k! 

I'm so tired from being vulnerable 

just take me away from here

just end it already

I don't know how long I can keep up

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I promise tonight

will be the last night I did this to myself

being in the state of miserable and pathetic

I don't know her

I had enough to reflect 

Seasons changed

I had mourned and weep

Tomorrow

the sun will shine

if He let me

as the air-filled in

I must stop the whine

beneath the same sky

I bid goodbye

I don't want to die

apparently, this place is too depressing to go on as I cannot go on with the vibes, I know I write when I'm upset but I don't want to be sad and depressed anymore. I don't want to be in the same state. So I've decided to stop writing for a while. I need to heal and maybe try to find my old self again. You can do this! and pray for me, my family, and the people who I loved and cherish.

,u12

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Things to do when you upset (my edition):

1. Clean your bedroom

Change your bedsheets, clean your ceiling fan, sweep and mop the floor, declutter and reorganize your wardrobe using Mary Kondo style. I like to rearrange my cupboard position.

2. Take a long shower

Scrub your body, cleanse your face, shampoo and massage your head, pamper yourself. Do a long-ass skincare routine, wear a sheet mask, or clay mask while watching Netflix. Just enjoy doing those things without rushing or pressure.

3. Spill your thoughts

I do this often whether on the blog or my phone notes like my notes full of overthinking but after I wrote everything, I feel less burden and I like to rant on my Twitter wall too cause nobody gives a damn about what I said. Peace!

4. Read something

Book, journal, articles, or news but I like reading on Wattpad cause I like to get lost in the storyline and character. I mean gentlemen only exist in fiction. My story choices are cliche and I like simple stories that I already know the endings just because I don't want to be sad or stress and expect less. Lol

5. Play games

I only play games on Plato. This is because one app consists of many games. And my favorite is Ocho. Expected? Yes. Cause it's easy and sometimes I interact with other players just to be nice.

6. Online shopping

I enjoy scrolling and adding things to the cart just because that is the only thing I afford to do. Lol.  later. And I enjoy using Shopee because I tried the other apps but I get confused so I just stick to Shopee. 

7. Cooking & Eating

This pandemic makes me gain weight because everyone in the house loves to eat and my mom loves to try and error with the recipe. So I just eat to make my mom happy and sometimes I cook for everyone. Besides, I find it is very therapeutic to clean and then scrub the stove after cooking. <3 

8. Try new hobbies

So I start to enjoy doing arts, experiment with oil pastels hehehe. You can try to find new hobbies, who know your hobby can turn into a job or passion. You will never know what you can earn from that. But for me, I just doing arts for fun.

okay, that's all I can think about!