untitled

you only miss the idea of him(her)

maybe someday - colleen hoover

I know I should not feel like this in the first place but it is wrong to invalidate my feelings. we are entering a new year like 'its new year new me' so I should speak up or spill what I feel right?

I know when I'm saying this people would think "shes's just petty over small things" or "exaggerate over small things" but that's just how I feel all this time.

All my effort seems like nothing to her

my sincerity, undivided attention, and all the love as a family or someone who I treat like a biological sister, I think all of these are not enough to budge her introverted heart. 

Every time I try to longer this conversation, I feel like communication is not something her favor and I stop being pushy by being understanding but I guess my impatient heart is just had enough for that.

Maybe I should stop and see how would she react if I decided to leave first?

or maybe she doesn't care and go on with her usual life, proceed to live in her own world. A world without me in it.

With that being said, thank you for having me. 

If you still need me, I'm here. 

Even if you don't, I'm here but not as enthusiastic as before.

,u12