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these past few weeks, I become restless. My sleeping pattern becomes messed up, I don't know what times I slept or what day I awake but every time I wake up I want this pandemic to end.

I mourn for abandoned things. A lot. I keep getting flashbacks. I grief to people who left me, my old maid who was so close to me and treat me like my own mother, my girlfriends as we used to have a group name, my old neighborhood where I grew up. I love the people and I love where I lived but I realized that...

I become a hoarder of my own past

Letting go is tough however clinging to the past become burdensome

Everything becomes so overwhelmed like I'm sick of it but why do I keep doing it

I promise myself that was the last straw it happened still I loathe myself each time I fall into the same pit.

p/s: I manage to give some duit raya to my best friend for the first time ever just because she deserves it and as a belated birthday present. I love you mama :). Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate